Change Ahead

In a few weeks, my life is going to really change. We move to Colorado in a few weeks. My husband is getting out of the Army and we are moving back to his home state. All of his family is in Colorado.We will be moving into a house with his mom,his brother, his sister, their other halves, and their kids. There will be a total of seven adults and four kids in one house. All the children are 5 years and under. I am going to have to start work again. I will being working mornings so that I can spend my evenings with my husband and son. I have always spent my days with Dillon,my son.I have worked nights since he has was born. And on the days that I worked mornings/afternoons, my husband was always home with him. I wish I could always be a stay at home mommy, but we also have to have money. I hope Dillon takes well to the change. We have our own little routines here and now we won't be able to keep those routines. It is safe to say that I am scared. I have never lived in such a big city. Until I met my husband, I had always lived in the country. I am from the deep south and now I am moving even further away from my family. I am moving into a house with people that I have only met a few times. I also found out today that we may be moving into a smaller house than expected. This really disappointed me. I am very unsure about this transition. I have always wanted my own place. I want to be able to decorate and create an amazing room for my son. I will not be able to do this until my husband and I get our OWN place. I like my space and I am sort of a loner. I do not do well around a lot of people. I get overwhelmed and moody. I hope that maybe I can over come this. Colorado is beautiful, but I miss Louisiana so much. When I left Louisiana, I thought I wouldn't miss it but I was very wrong. Now for me to be with my husband, I have to live in Colorado. I will never get to live in Louisiana again. That realization really gets me lately. I am homesick and I wish my family could watch Dillon grow. He is my parents' first and only grandchild so far. They have missed out on almost every bit of his first year. I send them pictures and videos as much as possible but they just aren't the same.
I understand that my husband wants to be with his family. He has been away for almost 5 years. His mother is very sick. He also lost his father a little over a year ago. His father passed away suddenly from pneumonia in his sleep in November 2010. It was three days before Dillon was due. My husband left for Colorado a few days later. I thought he was going to miss our son's birth. But Dillon ended up being a week late,I guess he wanted to wait for his daddy. The doctors had to induce me and Dillon was born on Thanksgiving.
I have always wanted to make the right choices especially since Dillon was born. I want the best for him. Every morning many thoughts occur to me. I wonder if I will make the right choices for my son and myself today? Does my son know I love him more than anything? What can I do to better myself for my son and myself? 
 I hope that one day everything just falls into place. I love my son, my husband, and my family with all my heart. I strive to do what I can for them. I am doing what I can to accept this change. I will make the best of it. I hope that is all gets easier soon. I know that many many people in this world have much more in their lives to handle. I am sorry for those out there that have it so bad. I hope that some day all of their prayers are answered and their dreams come true.
I am so thankful for the life that I have and the people I have in it. I hope this year brings great things. I know that I am a lucky person and I will never take that for granted.