So,if you have read my blog you would know that my husband,son, and I live in a house with his family.
When we moved here everything was okay, but recently it has gotten out of control. His family can not stand me anymore and avoid me like the plague. It is a very long story but I plan to tell the short version because I need to rant.
So, my son is a year and a half. He is a sweet kid but he has to defend himself around here. His big cousins (5 year olds) are mean and he has a baby cousin. She is 3 months younger than him but she likes to bite and claw his face. Well, my son had a bite mark on his arm one day and it turned into a bruise. It pissed me off so I ranted on Facebook by posting a picture. The bite mark picture upset my husband's family. It escalated from there. My mother in-law and my 3 sister in-laws wanted to fight me. Now they talk shit behind my back and avoid me. I want to move so bad but my husband doesn't. I am so unhappy. I wish we had our own place. I am tired of being treated like shit. He doesn't understand . I wish he did. I followed him everywhere and moved where he wanted to move. My family lives in Louisiana and he will never move there so that means for me to be with him I can never live in Louisiana again. I will only get short visits with my family and not very often. I have given up
a lot to be with him..So, I wish that he would just move out of this house with me. I would do it for him.
I understand. I hope he is a very loving and kind man to you in all other ways except this one. I, too, have been taken apart by family members behind my back for things I either didn't do or didn't do in the way they believed.
ReplyDeleteTo my mind, a husband and wife must make their partner a priority over their family of origin. It doesn't have to be dramatic, but supporting your actions, 'taking your side' by speaking up for you, is so very important and it sends his family members the firm message not to mess with you if they love him. Your in-laws know they can bully you because he isn't giving you the support you need from him.
If he is anything like my husband he won't hear you say this, rather he will only hear criticism of his family when you try to explain why you need his support.
Moving will give you space from them but it won't end the bullying.
I live with my father with my children and Lord give me strength some days. I spend an inordinate amount of time working in the garden so I can miss the worst of his ranting and keep my sanity.
Be kind to yourself. Trust your instincts about your beautiful boy, and stand up for him. If that pisses the in-laws off, then they need to be pissed off. If it alienates your husband then I would ask myself who do you need to protect, him or your son? One is a grown man and one is a child who cannot make his own choices. If he won't do what is right for you, and he won't do what is right for your son, I believe you will find the heart and wisdom to choose for yourself what is the kindest and most loving place to be for yourself and your boy. It is so very little to ask of the world isn't it?